Monday, February 25, 2013

Thirty Things about Myself




1.  Reading
I like to read books, especially genre fiction. I like it when the protagonist goes through a hero’s journey and gets stronger. Somewhat childish, yes, but such kind is my favorite- something that doesn’t happen in real life. Harry Potter is my favorite.

2.     Hair
I am very attached to my long, reddish-brown hair. (Is it long?) It got really short when I was thirteen, and my classmates teased me that my hair looked like ah helmet. I’ve been growing it ever since. It took an awfully long time to reach this length. As for the color, I had several dying and un-dying until it became like this. One of my dreams is to grow my hair to reach my waist, although Mom is horrified by the thought.

3.     Poli Sci
I want to major in political science. The power, fighting, madness, bond, distribution of wealth, lobbying… all those stuff fascinate me. I do not know much about the dirty business going on, but I’d like to know, as much as I’d like to eradicate such business. In similar context, I’m also interested in history- transition of power, diseases, conquering… things like that.

4.      Diet
I am constantly on a diet- well, technically, not contantly. I repeat quitting and restarting. It kind of makes me feel bad.

5.     Eyesight
I have very bad eyesight. I can’t see even inches away without my glasses. It’s hereditary, I think, as my mom, little brother, grandmother, and grandfather all have terrible eyesight as well. I wasn’t born like this, surely, but my eyes were just too vulnerable.

6.     Drawing
I love drawing! I have a personal collection of pictures/drawings that I plan to paint someday- when I have time, that is. I still want to be a painter.

7.      Wasting Time
What I hate the most is wasting my time. I’m kind of obsessed with it. I try to make the most use of my time, always- on bus, on train, while walking…

8.     Skin Color
I happen to like my dark skin color. Well, once I wanted to be milk-white, like almost every Korean girls. But I strongly suspect that from the moment I was born, I was brown-ish. I couldn’t change the shade. Then I went to American and discovered white girls trying to tan their skin. And Satya, a girl from India, told me that she loved my skin. So, I am a bit proud of it now.

9.     MIKA
My favorite singer is MIKA. I first encountered him in French class, for he sang a popular French song, “Elle Me Dit.” I instantly loved it! It’s very bright, the melody, it lightens me up. And at the same time, the lyrics are satirical. Here is my favorite part of the song, translated in English:
“Don’t end up like your father; be proud of yourself!”

10.   Transfer
I transferred eight times in total- during elementary school, middle school, and high school. Some of the transfers, I liked, others I resented. But they all turned out well, and I thank those experiences.

11.   Martial Arts
I have a passion for martial arts. I learned taekwondo for a long time, and recently, I started learning kickboxing. I haven’t learned much yet, but the coach said I was talented. I’m planning to learn it full-scale once I graduate.

12.   Little Brother
I’m not very intimate with my little brother- I’ve been such a scary older sister. I feel sorry for him.

13.   Writing
I like writing by hand- “flow of consciousness.” I fall into a trance and just keep scribbling, writing down whatever that comes to my mind. Not often the result turns out good, but I like it anyway. I hate looking at the laptop, it makes my eyes hurt.

14.   Cooking & Baking
I also like to cook and bake. I recently baked a chocolate fondue and chocolate-almond cookies, and they were a huge success! The dish I can cook the best is kimchi fried rice, with potato, carrot, onion, mushroom, ham, and egg.

15.   Boredom
I get bored very easily, very quickly. I can never watch a full movie on a laptop by myself- I get bored after 30 minutes. There has to be something that pressures me- a company, a theater, or orders. Books I read, because I don’t read them purely for fun. Well, joy, but a different kind of joy.

16.   Cell Phone
I hate my cursed cell phone! It constantly blocks my access to text-messages and address book. It’s really frustrating when you want to reply write away and the cell phone screen is just blank for, like, forever.

17.  Handwriting
I have a pretty dirty handwriting. It’s hard to decipher, especially when I tried to write fast. While I was preparing for SAT I was worried that the marker wouldn’t understand it, so I actually practiced writing alphabets few days before the day. It did get better, by the way. Effort doesn’t betray you!

18.   Dry Skin
My skin is extremely dry in winter, especially legs. They’re itchy. Lotion is not really helpful. I keep scratching them and sometimes they bleed.

19.   My Wish
I wish I had time without anything to do. Then I might as well get bored of playing. My free time so far didn’t feel like a free time, since I felt guilty playing. Not really free, is it? I want to have real free time.

20.   Farming
I work in the school farm. I grew potatoes, sweet potatoes, peppers, corns, tomatoes, lettuces, peanuts, pumpkins, etc. It was quite… fruitful, let’s say. They were tasty, too. 

21.   Age
I am a year younger than most 16th wavers. I was born in the Year of the Rat, the first of the zodiac. I liked that. I wonder, does a year of age make a difference? On average?

22.   Instruments
I play the violin. And the piano. And the harmonica. I don’t actually practice them, I just play with them, playing the melodies of songs. My skills aren’t really good, but I am content.

23.   Christianity
I am a Christian- not devout, thought. I have mixed feelings toward the religion- guilty, cynical, curious… but Mom keeps telling me the God will be on my side. She means well, and I can’t resist it altogether. 

24.    Facial Expression
I have a “characteristic expression,” let’s say. Some say I look sleepy, others say I look pale and sickly. I’ve heard wistful, blank, tired… as well. I’m curious how I look, since in the mirror I look just fine. 

25.   Red
I like the color red the most. I prefer steaming hot over lukewarm. I like the zeal, passion, and the fire-like qualities associated with the color red. Oh, isn’t the color of fresh blood pretty?

26.   Three Mufflers
I have three red mufflers. One of them is almost five years old now. It’s all frayed now, but it’s soft and has little fur balls at the end. Mom bought it for me. The second one is really long, thick, and a bit coarse. My aunt knit it for me, along with a woolen hat that was too small for me. The last one is a connected woolen ring. 7-year friend of mine gave it as a Christmas present. It’s so stretched out that it’s not really warm now. These are not very useful as mufflers. But I love them all. 

27.    Happiness
I am most happy when I’m curled up inside my bed, with sweet biscuits and a nice book to read. 

28.   Subway
Another place I liked to read is on a subway (or a train). I like the gentle wobble, the feeling of progressing somewhere, and the constantly changing passengers. You could feel yourself smiling without even realizing it. Except during the rush hour. That is awful.

29.   Singing in the Shower
I like singing in the shower, but I can’t very often. For one thing, I’m usually short of time and five minutes is enough for a shower. Second, when I start singing, I can’t bear my own voice- it’s so loud and ringing. So I just quit. 

30.   Ticklish
I am extremely ticklish. Really, it’s out of your imagination. It’s this one fatal weakness of mine. One time, Yoo Sun (my former roommate) and I got into an elevator. There were just the two of us. She grinned wickedly and started tickling me. By the time the door opened, I had been twitching in the corner, laughing like crazy. It was sheer torture, really!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The Last Time I was awestruck




The Last Time I Was Awestruck by a Teacher
 


 
It was only last Thursday. I was in a class for writing a paper in social sciences, individually. Our teacher, Mr. Kim, was supposed to guide us the appropriate way to write a scholarly paper. As introduction, he told us about the various ways to write a paper. The easiest and the most common way, he said, was to take an existing theory and to apply that theory to explain a real-life phenomenon. For example, let’s say one discovers that women bump into surroundings more frequently than men do. To explain that phenomenon, he applies a theory that says ‘women have less spatial perception than men’ and tries to prove the correlation by surveying, experimenting, etc. Then he went on and on, explaining more about other ways of writing a paper.
As I was listening to the lecture, however, I couldn’t help but feel a bit doubtful. No theory is perfect. What if the theory I selected is wrong? What if it does not match the results? And even if it does, there is no way to precisely prove a cause-and-effect relationship. It’s not like we can completely manipulate all the variables, such act is not even possible in studying natural sciences, let alone in studying humans! There might be a correlation, but there are so many variables in social sciences that we can never be quite sure. If that is so, what meaning does science hold? Such thoughts followed one after another, and I was completely lost. I strived to make sense of my surge of thoughts and organize them into a question. But despite all my efforts, my mouth came up with a feeble, uncertain remark:
“Should we premise that the theory is absolutely true…?”
Surprisingly, just by that, Mr. Kim instantly grasped the maelstrom of confusion I was stuck in. He answered:
“Well, we start the paper because we believe that the theory is true. However, it can still not match the results of our research. Then we should form a new theory or find an alternative matching on the data, and conduct another research based on the new theory.”
But still… such process does not proveI tried to say, but he went on:
“Of course, the new theory can still be wrong. Theories are not perfect; scholars can never be absolutely certain. But we should try the best we can, struggling to come out with the best theory possible for the time being. And what if it turns out wrong in the future? Good! Then at least we would learn it is wrong. We suggest something, it turns out wrong, and we find another. That is the way to the development of science.”
Through all my high school years, I have attended Mr. Kim’s classes. And at that exact moment, I felt that those words, the attitude of scholars, were what he wanted to teach us all along. So many times I heard him saying similar things, and only then I finally understood what he meant. The individual achievement, acknowledgement, and fame do not matter. In order to become a proper scholar, we should almost sacrifice ourselves to the greater good, the ultimate truth. At the same time, I could feel that Mr. Kim went through such process- studying, trying to reach perfection, falling into despair, yet believing in his efforts… I was simply awestruck.
At that moment, my memory flashed back to a part of ‘Science as a Vocation’ by Max Weber, a book Mr. Kim once recommended:

Every scientific 'fulfillment' raises new 'questions'; it asks to be 'surpassed' and outdated. Whoever wishes to serve science has to resign himself to this fact.”
And oh, I am determined to have ‘science as my vocation.’